(no subject)

[notaskingpermission]

[cont. from here]

Verity was going to die. She never knew that anything could feel this good, the way Ellie was looking at her, talking to her. Touching her. They almost took this away from her. She almost missed this, three times. She pulled her mind from trying to go to that place, not wanting this ruined by bad memories, and as Ellie's hands slid up her sides it was easy to do.

Especially because she realized that now there was no way Ellie was going to miss the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. At this point all she had to do was look.

"Fuck." She swore, a string of whispered fucks, adjusting herself into a more comfortable position on top of Ellie, braced on her elbow with their hips flush. Her free hand returned to Ellie's hair only to move to her shoulder. "You're so pretty, Ellie," she said helplessly. She ducked her head down, skimming her lips over Ellie's. Her voice was breathy, anticipatory. "I want you to."

Comments

[and_survive]

This time, Ellie blushed, some. She thought of herself in a lot of ways, some good, some bad, but pretty generally wasn't something she considered. A lot of the time, she didn't necessarily want to be, it wasn't her.

When a really pretty, really cool girl was breathing it into her mouth, it was a whole other story. Unable for a moment to muster up a coherent response she surged upwards, caught Verity's mouth with her own. Palmed the wonderful softness of her breast through her shirt, which she hoped was what Verity meant because god that was fantastic.

[notaskingpermission]

Verity moaned, loudly and drawn out, first from the kiss, then from Ellie's hand on her. Maybe more loudly than over-the-shirt touching warranted, but no one had ever touched her like that before. She'd never been on top of anyone, kissing them like her life depended on it.

It didn't matter that a party was happening right outside the bedroom, because Ellie's tongue was in her mouth, or hers was in Ellie's, and everything was warm and soft.

[and_survive]

The door didn't lock, so she'd just have to hope nobody got it in their head to wander on in. Hopefully they were all busy with other things, or would pick one of the other rooms to mess around in. This one was staying occupied for she hoped a solid length of time. She didn't think Verity would want to go too far, maybe, but honestly that almost improved things. It had been a while since she'd kissed and been kissed, and to do that without the additional complications that could come with... it was nice, just relaxing into it.

That had been a really nice moan, though. She pulled back just a fraction from another in a series of very thorough kisses. "Is it too cold in here?" she said, impishly, brushing her thumb against the bump Verity's nipple was making in her shirt.

[notaskingpermission]

Verity made a tiny sound, catching her breath while Ellie spoke. It was a dirty sort of tease and Verity leaned in to kiss her again, playful and distracted. "Oh yeah, so cold," she said dryly, pushing toward Ellie's hand a little, moving to nuzzle behind her ear, kissing along her jaw. "Lucky I'm with such a hot girl."

Maybe it was the pot, or maybe it was just her, but flirting was turning out to be less terrifying than she'd thought. Especially when everything felt so good.

[and_survive]

Ellie laughed, tipping her head back, although that was as much or more about giving Verity access to side of her face where she was nuzzling, to her neck. That was frankly amazing, and if Verity's hand were under her shirt she could have been making the same crack about it being cold.

"You're fucking hot," she said, which was maybe cheesy and straightforward, but she felt pretty good, and it was unvarnished truth. Her fingers caught around the strap of Verity's top, tugged it experimentally off her shoulder, leaned in to kiss the top of it.

[notaskingpermission]

"No, you," Verity breathed, smiling in amusement and self-consciousness as she turned her face toward Ellie's neck, hiding the way it went red, kept going red every time Ellie said something, even if it was a joke or just a line or something. Verity meant what she said, even if it was silly, and she thought maybe Ellie did too. Which was kind of amazing.

Because Verity knew these things happened, but these things never happened to her. Fuck, she'd worried the moment someone touched her she'd get triggered from the electrotherapy bullshit she'd had to endure at camp. But it hadn't happened yet. She had to push her thoughts from going there a few times, but it was okay. Better than okay, it was really good.

And Ellie's lips on her shoulder was sending goosebumps down her arm.

"Ellie," she whispered, slipping her free hand underneath Ellie's shirt. She didn't move her hand very far, just a light touch of her fingertips up Ellie's side, stopping at the bottom of her ribs.

[and_survive]

"Yeah?" she said, and then, with a decisive nod at the feel of Verity's hand lightly brushing up her side, "yeah," because absolutely she wanted to encourage things in that direction. She skimmed her own hand down Verity's arm, to the elbow, putting a little pressure on it to urge Verity's hand upwards.

There were places she wanted Verity's hand and there were places she wanted to put her hands -- at least, but she wasn't gonna get ahead of herself -- and this seemed to be heading both ways.

[notaskingpermission]

Verity gazed at Ellie, their faces close, but not too close that she couldn't see her. And she wanted to. Ellie helped guide her hand and Verity bit her lip, smiling a little, letting her palm slide over warm skin until she reached Ellie's breast. She paused only a moment, thumb tracing the curve of it, then cupped her breast in hand, letting out a sigh.

"Wow," she whispered, exploring with her palm and fingers, her mouth parted and hovering above Ellie's. She dropped down to kiss her again, eyes slipping closed as she melted into it.

[and_survive]

Ellie sighed, as well, into Verity's mouth, languorously licking into it. It had been, she was concluded, entirely too fucking long since someone had touched her like that, kissed her like this. Since she'd broken up with Blue, really, and there was entirely too much messy history there now to be thinking about that. As a free agent, she was going to instead freely and happily think about how good Verity's hand felt on her breast, how good that short hair was for putting her hand in. Her other she slid down to run across her ass, squeeze. It had been that or her breast, she had entirely too many good options.

"Wow's right," she said, except she didn't want to stop kissing Verity to say it so it came out more of a wizrit.

[notaskingpermission]

"Mmm," Verity moaned into Ellie's mouth, reflexively rolling her hips when she felt Ellie's hand squeeze her ass. She was glad in that moment that she'd worn her cotton pajama pants instead of her jeans. At the same time she thought maybe she should put the brakes on. She was doing way more than she'd ever done, ever, but then she realized there was room under Ellie's shirt for her to slip both hands underneath. Which meant she could cup Ellie's waist, run her palms up Ellie's stomach, her ribcage, touch her breasts with both hands. She did, and it was so good, Ellie's body was so warm, and soft, and felt so good how was she not supposed to touch her?

Verity wasn't sure what felt best for Ellie, so she moved her hands slowly, teased with her fingers, listening for reactions, for when her body moved underneath her.

[and_survive]

That was entirely too good. Verity might be new at this, might be experimenting to see what worked, but that was part of it; the way she was attending to her, the hands on her breasts shifting, squeezing. Verity's fingers brushed her nipples and she groaned, further, hips shifting upwards, rubbing against Verity's leg a little, unconsciously looking for friction.

"That," she sighed. "That's good."

[notaskingpermission]

"Yeah?" Verity breathed, trailing her mouth down Ellie's neck. She was fully into what they were doing, was pretty sure she could just continue this all night if Ellie wanted to, when there was a loud and sudden thump against the bedroom door.

"Fuck." Verity scrambled off Ellie and almost jumped entirely off the bed without thinking, her reflexes causing her to react, heart racing like her mother was about to walk through the door and catch her doing something she wasn't supposed to. Which was kind of funny, because her mom finding out about her liking this sort of thing was exactly what did get her into trouble.

But that was before.

Still, it had scared her. When the thump was followed by laughter in the hallway and fading footsteps and talking, when it was clear no one had even tried to come in, Verity groaned and buried her face, red with embarrassment, in the blankets.

"Fuck. Sorry."

[and_survive]

She was going to have words for whoever just smacked into that door. She supposed it was better than if they'd actually come in. Maybe not, though, the result would have been the same and she would have gotten to yell at them.

Still, Verity had fully jumped, had freaked out, and that was... she didn't know what that was. She wanted to extra yell at someone, but she couldn't be sure why.

"Hey, no it's... are you okay?"

[notaskingpermission]

Verity slowly sat up to take her embarrassment like a woman.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Wow, my reflexes are crazy, huh?" she said awkwardly, smoothing over her tank top, which didn't need smoothing over because it wasn't loose-fitting.

This was terrible. The kissing had been the easy part. It felt good, there was nothing to think about except Ellie and how good it all felt, but talking? About the kissing, or anything else?

Fuck.

"It's probably for the best, right? To slow down..."

[and_survive]

"...yes?" Ellie said, eyebrows slightly up. This was not an answer she was dead certain on. Or, okay, it was the answer she thought was right, head and heart wise. Just, some parts disagreed.

But, no, she'd get that in line. She'd be fine with everything as long as Verity was, and if Verity was unsure then she wasn't. That's how it worked.

"I don't want to blow your mind all at once, right," she said, hoping to paper over that with humor, a little. Maybe save face, although whose, she didn't know.

[notaskingpermission]

Verity let out a small, surprised laugh, and felt her limbs relax. It had been an overreaction, but Ellie didn't seem offended or pissed off.

"Yeah, you should probably, like, spread it out. Keep me coming back for more," she teased, and then realizing how it sounded her face went a little red.

She cleared her throat and smiles a little, playing with the hem of the blanket. "I mean, I like kissing you. I've just seriously never done anything, and I'm not used to being out, so...I guess I'm just jumpy."

[and_survive]

"Well, you're a quick study. I'm gonna need to jump in, shit, either the shower or the lake," Ellie said, lying back and covering her face with her elbow for a moment, before she flopped it back on the bed and twisted to face where Verity was now.

"Was being out... you make it sound like it was risky."

[notaskingpermission]

Verity laughed again. "Jesus." Her face was apparently going to be perpetually hot around Ellie. There was a small stretch of silence and then she admitted, "I'm glad it's not just me."

Because she had definitely been turned on, physical reactions and everything. It was enough to make her want to crawl back on top of Ellie, they were still alone, she'd liked it too, but now with the moment broken she couldn't get herself to make a move.

And they were talking. Ellie asked a question that gave Verity a moment of pause where she had to remember that they were from very different places.

"It's sort of complicated," she answered slowly. "It can be. There are so many factors. Like, it's not as dangerous for people to be out as it was in the past, but...it's still bad sometimes." She paused again, because there were so many factors, so much history, it was difficult to condense. And even more difficult when she factored herself in.

"Basically... I had some bad experiences when my family found out I was gay. So, it..." She made a face, having trouble explaining. "Sometimes I can't get my head out of that place."

[and_survive]

She didn't know that everyone in her time was okay with it, either. It just hadn't come up. She didn't know that she'd ever been hiding it, exactly, but she hadn't exactly been declaring it.

"Jesus," she said, because family turning on you, not accepting it, it sounded bad. Rough. "That sounds like it... sucked." She winced, a little. That sounded too weak for what it would have actually been like.

[notaskingpermission]

"Yeah," Verity said, subdued but not at all offended by however weak Ellie's reply was or wasn't. She didn't know the details, and while Verity found she didn't mind talking about it with Ellie because of what they had in common, she didn't want to get too deep. She liked what they'd just done, and it was the middle of a party, no need to bring conversion therapy and all the rest up.

"I don't know how it was where you came from, but back home for me a lot of people had a problem with gay people because of religion. Like, they thought being gay, or at least acting on it, was a sin against God. My parents were crazy Christian, so when they found out about me they kinda freaked."

[and_survive]

"I didn't really know anyone religious," Ellie said. There had been, she knew. The end of the world didn't happen without some people getting extremely religious. But the Quarantine Zone had been so locked down, under martial law, that the worst excesses of that had been tamped down or out of her sight.

"Lucky for me, I guess. That's messed up."

[notaskingpermission]

"Mm. I don't know that your situation was lucky, exactly," Verity says quietly, smiling a little, though not from humor but in empathy. They both had their own fucked up shit to deal with back home, but they'd both survived.

She nudged Ellie's arm. "Enough of this sad talk. Let's think of a happier topic. Or maybe go back out to the party, you are the host after all."

[and_survive]

"Fuck, I am," Ellie conceded, flopping back and tilting her head towards the door. What had the person that had bounced off the door been doing? She should probably make sure people weren't trashing her house, or at least be present for the trashing.

"Or co-hosting, or something. I should."

Also, she'd somehow dragged this into sad talk, Verity was right. Maybe it was best to dodge accidentally making things awkward again. It'd help with the urge to jump Verity again, too.

[notaskingpermission]

"Oh yeah. Not your idea, but still your house," Verity said with a small smile. "It's like when you're the one friend with a truck, you get stuck helping everyone move." It wasn't like they could throw a party at the children's home. At least, not a good one.

Ellie's still laying there and Verity wished she hadn't said a thing, like they could just stay in here and keep doing...whatever. But now it would be too awkward to take back.

[and_survive]

"Jesus, I have a truck, I'm that friend, too," Ellie said, shaking her head in manufactured distress at her own predicament as she stood up. With some reluctance. She both did and did not want to ditch out of this.

[notaskingpermission]

Verity laughs and follows Ellie off the bed. "Shit, I guess I know who to call when they kick me out of the Home," she says, her smile more shy than normal as she adjusts her cami strap. Her hand accidentally bumps Ellie's when she lowers it, and she forgets about her flannel entirely.